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fairy tale I keep on holding and goes with life. On this birthday, I wish to have a fairy tale become reality. I know, there's no more 'prince with white horse' to come and rescue me or 'tall, dark and handsome' in every description of Judith McNaught's story tale book. But, is it wrong to request for a fairy tale? I wish... I forgot how long it was Since I last heard you Tell me your favorite story I thought for a long time I'm starting to go crazy Is it that I did something wrong? Crying, you told me That fairytale lie to people I can't be your prince Maybe you won't know After you said you love me The stars in my sky all started to shine I'm willing to be, in the fairytale The angel that you love Spread my hands, into wings, to hold you You have to believe Believe that we'll be like the fairytale With a happy ending. I want to be, in the fairytale The angel that you love Spread my hands, into wings, to hold you You have to believe Believe that we'll be like the fairytale With a happy ending. I will to be, in the fairytale The angel that you love Spread my hands, into wings, to hold you You have to believe Believe that we'll be like the fairytale With a happy ending. Together, we will write our own ending.
because I'm a girl... Because I'm a Girl
kucing gemok...kucing gemok
We (Aida and myself) sang this song of kucing gemok at the state of tensed and depressed. It happened when Aida looked at a picture of a kucing and suddenly she sang the song. I followed the ryhmes and became our song, kuikuikui.... Now, when I'm feeling missing of my old days in Battersea, Stag Hill and Surrey generally, the melody of kucing gemok continuesly play in my head and I will start hurming and quitely sing to myself. And as requested by my dear mahathir, here is the song. Perhaps, one day when we get together we can sing this song together and making sure of its pitching and diction...hehehe. By the way, Kak Emi and Kak Ida have heard of kucing gemok before but probably forgotten the lyrics. So here it is: "Kucing gemok, kucing gemok kucing gemok, kucing gemok kucing kucing gemok kucing kucing gemok kucing gemok kucing gemok" Note: the melody is exactly follows the song of 'are you sleeping' hehehehehe... Enjoice!
saya rindu bila...
pada ketika dan waktu ini, saya sangat merindui saat saat bila:
seribu perkara dan rakan yang membuatkan saya rindu yang paling saya rindu adalah moment di bumi Surrey... 
mana perginya... 'belajar menerima kenyataan, terima hakikat'
itu yang dipegang buat menghadapi hari mendatang. awan takkan selalunya cerah, mendung tak bererti hujan. sungai kan tetap mengalir, matahari pasti kan bersinar jua. tetapi akhir akhir ini terasa sangat gundah di hati. puas pujuk tapi merengek rengak perasaan memberontak. entah apa yang tak kena semuanya serba salah. itu bukan apa yang digenggam selama ini. satu hakikat kehidupan yang pedih pernah dilalui dulu. kuat pun semangat ini, tabah pun hati ini. kemana semua itu pergi, sejak dua tiga hari ini puas mencari. 'Allah, tolonglah campur tangan dalam urusanku ini sesungguhnya aku buntu.' apakah sebenarnya yang terjadi...yang ku cari mohonlah kembali..
...rindu... "what will you do if you miss someone?" dulu pernah saya text msg to bunch of friends asking the similar questions. I received various answers, sampaikan ada yang tanya, 'are you in love?'...bila baca, saya tergelak aje. Entah apa angin masa tu. Once again, at this hour (it's nite time in Malaysia) I wish to ask the same question. Cuma this time around, saya unsure to whom should I text a.k.a sms too..Saya tau nanti mesti ada yg akan tertanya lagi, 'are you in love?'. Yang sure sekali, mmg saya nak sangat2 tanya this question. I think I leave the question here and let it be unanswered 'til I have the courage to sms this question to who ever you are. Again, I repeat the question: "what will you do if you miss someone?"
atur langkah dengan berhati-hati Saya rasa penat untuk berlari.
Sesekali saya rasa tercungap2 menahan penat. Saya jatuh. Terasa sakit. Saya berhenti. Tapi jauh lagi, saya terus berlari. Penat. Mungkin saya perlu berehat seketika waktu. Yang pasti, saya mesti terus menuju ke destinasi. Cuma kali ini, saya tak nak berlari. Saya nak berjalan. Berjalan sambil menikmati setiap inci laluan saya. Mungkin cara ini saya takkan tercungap2 dan termengah2. Kata orang tua-tua, "perlahan-lahan kayuh, pasti sampai" Saya nak hayun langkah saya perlahan2. Ikut rentak kemampuan saya. Berhati - hati mengatur langkah. Saya mohon doa moga kali ini saya tak jatuh lagi.
what I want? Actually, I have nothing to update. Nak cerita apa, life goes on as usual. A little pretty hectic few days back. I was send to the training. Then took few days leave to join my family for Genting. Came back and here I am, hook and tight up with work. Hurmm, come to think of it, do I really love what I am doing now? Wo..wo..don't get me wrong, I love my job. I mean, I do have passion on it. Sometimes, its just that I am not really prepare on many things, am I? What will I be if I am not in the field of I am now? Probably a Consultant? a Conselor? Well at least that's what I always wanted to be- honestly. Woopss, is this a mid-life to end of 20s crisis? Is there any such of term for that? Ok ok, I am always with reasons. But I wonder is there any places out there that I can be? A place which possibly can fit me in, la la la la la....Juggling my mind and wonder about. Do I actually hate my superior a.k.a my cute boss. Naahh, it isn't about my boss. I mean, that couldn't be the reason. Perhaps, I want some other exposure. That's it, I need to breath in a different envio. Kuikuikui, as if I am not breathing perfectly now. I am, off course I do. Probably, I need to shut off here, for now. 'Til I got the solution(s), will get back here again....
*news received* I received a news from a friend. She's getting married, again. After been divorced three times by her ex-husband, she finally found someone. How great loves is, the feeling created by Allah. Well, her choice this time around is very distintive. An American at elderly age. A well-to-do man, I guess. Perhaps, the man knows how to cares her and her two children. Wow wee...probably he's the one who can really touches her heart. Mmmm, I know what some of you guys out there must be thinking. I think, at this moment through, praying for people's happiness would be a good thing to think off. Yups, some people can just accepting and do what ever they want to do. Follow your heart but think wisely. While enjoying the conversation with the friend, suddenly my phone buzzing. I received a message from another of my friend. 'just to let u know, i'm not getting married'...Oucchh!! That's hurt and devastating. Her 'big-day' is in my schedule is in two months time. I've already plan to attend to her wedding, with a yellow baju kurung. I whispered to my heart, Astarfirullah for many times. I lost count. Actually, I was speechless. What words should I text to her to reply? What should I say? What must I say? She includes me in her wedding preparation and now? I do replied. But, haven't got a clue of the whole story. She wasn't in the mood to share them. Not for now. Well, I respect her decision and will be waiting patiently once she's ready to reveal. Before I doze off for today, I keep thinking about the two friends of mine. They are talking about the same thing, marriage! But in a different approach. Woww..approach? Yeah, in technical persepctive..Probably I should use, situation...We always pray to God, for a good life, happiness, success...I mean for all the good way we want it to be. We didn't ask for unexpected conditions or circumstances. But we could fall and get cuts although we walk confidently and safely. We didn't ask for it, still it happens. Allah really test all HIS human beings in many ways. Through the tests, we know how strong we can live and how Allah is actually giving us, what is good and meant for us for now and future...With all HIS willing, things will get better and HE promises rainbows after all the stroms and lightning...Only Allah knows....
Ayah & Ibu Opps, sebenarnya tak ada niat nak menonton AF5 semalam. Selepas balik from kursus, sangat - sangat penat rasanya. Nak tido cepat. Tetapi bila dengar mereka di AF5 tu nyanyi, tertengoklah juga sambil-sambil tu. Tak ikuti pun sangat AF kali nie. In fact, lama dah tak tengok. Banyak perkara lain nak buat dari melayan program realiti tu. Akan tetapi, semalam, masa tgk part last, tiba2 hati rasa sayu dan sedih sangat. Ehh, hukhuk saya menangis. Astaghfirullah, bukan kerana pelajar yang terkeluar tetapi kerana seorang pelajar di situ yang yatim piatu. Yang menyedihkan, ibu bapa pelajar lain datang bertemu anak2 mereka. Tetapi yang seorang tu, tidak ada sesiapa yang datang. Oh Ya Allah, kasihan nya situasi itu. Bagaimanalah perasaan pelajar itu, pasti berganda lebih sedih. Kerana ibu bapa yang lain semua ada, kecuali dia. Masa tu, background depa pasang and pengacara tu nyanyi lagi ayah & ibu. Sedih saya melihat pelajar itu. Apa yang hendak saya ceritakan disini bukan tentang program realiti itu, tetapi tentang ayah & ibu. Selalunya, bila tiada kedua orang tua, akan rasa rendah diri. Bukan hina, tetapi perasaan yang berbeza. Saya melalui itu sehingga kini. Namun syukur Alhamdullilah, saya masih ada ibu. Dan doa saya semoga ibu saya sentiasa sihat & ada. Ada ketika, tak suka juga mendengar apabila kawan2 bercerita tentang ayah. Kerana saya seorang yang rapat dgn ayah dan hati ini selalu rindu pada ayah. Alhamdullilah, ramai antara kawan2 saya yang memahami. Terima kasih. Sesungguhnya, saya redha. Al-Fatihah buat ayah.
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